Disgusted and Angry! Disclaimer...This is just my opinion!

I have to vent here just a little bit.  The more I hear about this so called mother, who adopted this boy from Russia, the more upset I get.  What kind of a society do we live in?  We have become so disposable, not just our food, garbage, marriages, well you get the picture...but all of a sudden our society is beginning to dispose of children!  Oh my goodness...little Johnny is having some behavioral problems, I think I'll just blame it on the country, even his birth parents, oh no better yet the people who let me adopt him.  I think all us parents who have adopted probably feel the same revulsion.  Adoption to me is no different than giving birth.  Even in adoption there are labor pains (to me it's the whole legal process) and then once the judge signs the paper...tah-dah...a child is born and a family is created! :)

When I took Danielle out of her birth mother's arms and announced that this child was mine now...I had no idea what was in store with this child, had no idea what was in her DNA grab-bag.  But it didn't matter I chose to be her mother.  Let me say that again, it's so profound..."I CHOSE TO BE HER MOM"! Whew that felt good...so enough of my ranting.  Hats off to all us adoptive parents who have stuck through the behavior problems, the mental illness, the disabilities, all the sleepless nights, the phone calls to the counselors, the doctor appointments, the constant worry about that child's future, etc...all because we believe we can make a difference in one or more child's life and shame on those people who think children with problems are disposable.

A Better World Today...

Today is a much better day.  I also figured out that Dani hasn't been getting the sleep she so desperately needs.  When she first arrived in our family, she didn't sleep.  Oh she would sleep for a couple of hours here and there but otherwise she would be wide awake, angry at the world.  Little did we know that she was suffering from withdrawls.  It all makes sense now.  So...my husband and I have to make sure she gets to bed on time so she can sleep at least 12hrs a night.  If it's less than 8...then we are in trouble.  So the past couple of nights I have made sure she has gotten to bed by 8pm, no later and surprisingly she is doing so much better.  There something to be said about sleep.  Now...if only I could get some restful sleep, then this would be such a happy household!  :)

Which brings me to another subject...summer!  The mere mention of the word brings terror in the hearts and souls of parents...especially in mine.  Since Dani is 15 there are no daycares that would accomodate her and her older sister just had her third daughter so I am not about to barge into her life with babysitting issues.  Yes, Dani can help with the kids but after while things can get stressful because Dani can be as loud and playful as a regular 6 year old.  So...here is my problem...I work full time (have to)...does anyone have any ideas on what to do with my teen during the summer months?  I am all ears!

A Commercial Break...

For those of you who read my blog's and wonder if this behavior is all normal...I have this to say...Yes!  Just right around when spring starts, and that is usually in March, a child/teen with FASD and who may have also secondary disorders to go along with it like Bipolar/ADHD etc, the behaviors become irratic.  Emotions run high (especially in girls who are maturing) tempers flare easily, you name it it happens.  And along with that it is the wind down of school...so everyone, and I mean everyone is all keyed up.  Which doesn't help the child/teen who is affected by these disorders.  So, if you are one of my readers, please don't turn and run the other way and think that my household is so dysfunctional, what the heck is this mother doing, etc.  I am normal, Dani is normal and this will all pan out real soon.  It always does.  By the time school is out and she can breath without the stress of being around so many kids, the pressures of work, etc...she will be fantastic and I will be able to breath easier.  Just know that my prayers and thoughts are out there with you all and if I could give one piece of advice to any parent who faces these challenges...please take care of yourself emotionally...physically...and spiritually.  Because without God's hand in your life and without the proper care, things are much harder.  Peace be with you all!

I Need A Time-Out...Again!

Whew!!! And I need to take a deep breath.  I don't know what is worse, having a headache that won't go away or dealing with an explosive teen.  After a good weekend...I knew it was too much for her.  We had a major melt-down tonight.  First I caught her in my room...again taking a couple of my rings after telling me to my face that she didn't.  But the worse part is...I was sitting in the livingroom and I heard her talking.  Thought maybe she was talking to herself.  Then I heard her say that she was working a double shift last Thursday and then a triple shift on Friday.  Then and there I felt her reality was a little off base.  So I went by her bedroom door and listened some more...she was talking to one of her friends and she started telling her that this guy she knows comes over after school to watch TV but they never get to the TV part.  Well, I am one of those mom's that has to work away from home so she is by herself for about an hour and a half before I get home.  I walked right into her room, took that phone away and told her she just lost her phone for a very long time.  That phone is for emergencies only.  Then she blew up, she started packing her bags, screaming at me that I don't love her that all I want to do is get rid of her that she hates my f(#)(#*&$ face and she is running away to her sisters in California.  Whoa...time out here.  Let's check reality...something is wrong and in talking with my husband tonight, it's always around this time of the year she looses it.  Stay tuned for more details.  We'll see if we make it through the night before the police are called or I take her up to the hospital.  This is the hardest part of being a parent to a child/teen with any kind of mental illness or emotional illness.

"Faith Will See Us Through"

I really don't have anything to report that has to do with the title of this blog but I just liked it.  I have this saying on my livingroom wall...and it says it all in times of happiness and trials!  But this weekend was a good weekend for us.  A lot of activities which usually sends a child with FASD over board...but Dani handled it really well.  I think I found the combination or the secret to calming her down...it's talking in softer tones when there is so much activity and putting her in charge or something...anything.  We spent the day Saturday at her niece's first soccer game of the season and then we all went down to Salt Lake to the aquarium.  I put her in charge of watching her little niece and follow her, make sure she didn't get into any trouble and Dani did a wonderful job.  I am proud of her.  But by the end of the day she was pretty exhausted.  But she was a champ...proud of her!

Shopping with FASD...Oh My!

Have you ever tried going shopping, for yourself, with your child or teen who has FASD?  I forgot what it was like, it's been awhile, only because by the time I get home from work, I am totally exhausted.  Well tonight I had a little extra energy and decided to go to a couple of places.  Laying out the plans and expectations with Danielle.  Ok, we're off to a good start, but while I am looking around she comes up to me and asks about taxes.  Ok, harmless question, no problem.  Then minutes later she starts with the compulsive thinking and saying over and over again, not in rapid succession but within minutes of each statement..."I just need to save up for five weeks and I can get this!"  And then the next store, she found something else to fixate on, and then the same statements begins again.  By the time we get home I am mentally exhausted.  Then the bomb shell...right before she goes to bed...

"Mom...can I ask you a question?"

"Sure honey, what is it?"

"Can I have a raise in my allowance?"

"Why, what's up honey?"

"I want to get those things I saw tonight"  

So I told her I had to think about it and figure out how much is a good raise.  She said she wanted $10 a week, again I told her I would have to think on it.  So...I guess I will go think about it!

Happy Easter!

Today was a good day for my family.  Started with the traditional Easter breakfast consisting of pancakes, bacon, strawberries, orange juice for the adults and special juice drinks for the grandkids.  There were special baskets for the granddaughters, Dani got a new Easter dress (which she looks gorgeous in) and I got some important time with my family.  Couldn't ask for better times.  Then my daughter Brenna and her husband Jason went home for the Easter Bunny to hide the eggs, went there for the hunt.  Fun times.  Then Dani and I went out to dinner, we both didn't feel up to cooking and my husband is in California for a delivery.  Then we laid back all day.  Good day...no problems...no complaints!  Hope everyone's day was good too~