To Catch a Thief!

I couldn't think of a better title for this blog.  Here is the story...this morning I got up and got ready for work like I usually do every morning.  I got my wallet out of my purse and noticed it felt pretty light.  Just over the weekend I know I had a lot of change and my wallet was pretty heavy.  I knew right then that Dani had been in my wallet.  I went into her room, closed her door because her dad was in the livingroom and he would have exploded if he knew why I was in there.  I woke her up and then I noticed she had one of my rings on her left hand.  A very good ring of mine no less.  I lost it...I saw red, I didn't lose it as if I was flinging things around or hitting, but I lost it emotionally, I went numb.  She had taken close to $30 from me.  Sometime yesterday (Sunday) she got into our bedroom, got into my purse and jewelery and also got into her make-up that I had taken away from her awhile ago.  Then when we confronted her on what she did, she got defensive in our faces, yelling at us while my husband is telling her to calm down.  Dani was so beligerant that I told her I had to go to work and that she wasn't going to her choir concert tomorrow night.  She yelled at me saying "your not going to work, your just going to have to call in and I am going to that concert".  It was like a demon had possessed her.  I spent my whole day at work in a daze.  I couldn't believe it and I sat at my desk with a constant prayer to my Father in Heaven about what to do!  How do I discipline a 15 year girl with FASD?  What road do I take that she will understand what she did was totally unacceptable?  She is humble and repentant for just a short time then those behaviors happen all over again.  I am still at a loss...does anyone have any suggestions?

Does this look familiar?

This was taken this morning before I left for work.  This is Danielle's room.  It was clean yesterday.  One of her major chorse to do after school is to clean up her room.  It was done, I saw it with my very own eyes, and this morning at 7am it was back to this. Does anyone else experience this?   If you do, how do you handle it?

Computer Problems...

I am here at work, typing this post so that no one thinks that I have fallen off the edge of the earth, even though at times it feels like it.  My computer has had some medical problems and is being taken care of by a wonderful ID guy.  Looks like she will have a full recovery and in better shape than what she was in.  So, please bear with me for a little while longer.  I have some updates to share but have to get my thoughts in order because my brain is pretty frazzled right now.

Stay tuned...

Officer Mom!

I'm sitting on my recliner this evening, reading my blogs and Dani gets a phone call on her cell and I can hear the conversation because it's so loud.  Some girl and guy is asking my daughter about "straight shots".  I kept asking her who was it, Dani was getting flustered because she couldn't answer the question or she was embarrased to answer or she actually knew what the answer was but was afraid to answer in front of me. So I took the phone and asked who it was and it was one of her friends from school and her brother.  They wanted to know what a "straight shot" was and they thought Dani knew.  I told them that Dani has no reason to know what that is and I would appreciate them calling and asking these questions. If they have those kinds of questions ask their parents, not my daughter.  After that conversation, my daughter felt more relaxed.  Peer pressure is harder and harder for these kids, unlike it was when I was in school....so many decades ago. We all need to be 'Office Mom" every once in a while for these kids...

A Marvelous Update...

As an update from my blog post before this, in regards to the missing hair straightner...well, this morning she came out of her room and asked me "Mom, are you sure you don't know what happened to my straightner?".  The first thing out of my mouth was a rapid "No"!  The look on her face was enough to make a grown woman cry because the look was of...confusion.  So, I told her "Honey, I have it, I've always had it. Now you know what it feels like when I have things missing and I can't find them and I know that you have it but you lie about it.  I did the same thing honey, I took something and lied about it.  Do you understand a little?"  At first I thought I was going to have a fight on my hands because the look on her face was one of rebellion, but within seconds it changed to remorse.  Actual remorse.  I think somewhere in there it struck a chord.  She may not remember the moment or the feeling tomorrow or the next day, and it may be a part that we keep playing in a repeating role, and that's okay, but I will remember that teaching moment for along time.

Lesson Learned...But For Who?

There was a post a few days ago, on my blog, that I was voicing my frustration with my daughter taking my personal things.  Well, last night before I went to bed, I went into her room, while she was sleeping and took her favorite necklace, and her nail polish and put them in my room.  Then this morning, as she was in the kitchen, I put her hair straightner in a towel and took it to my bedroom.  She didn't see me or suspect anything.  I was thinking I had the answer to teaching her a great and important lesson.  As I locked my bedroom door and bid my good-byes to her so I could get on the way to work, I was snickering to myself as I thought of my great and devious plan.  About 15 minutes after I left, I got a phone call from her asking if I had seen her necklace and her hair straightner.  In the most pleasant and honest voice I could muster (without laughing of course) I told her  "No honey...I don't go into your room".  There was some frustration in her voice and I thought "Ah, Hah, she is finally going to understand how I feel".  I went through my work day as usual and as I was on my way home I was preparing myself for a very frustrated young lady to gang up on me as I walked through the door.   BOY WAS I WRONG!  Not a word, no frustration no nothing.  The night went on as usual.  So...who has egg on her face now?  Me...just shows me how the brain really works for a child with FASD.  Lesson learned for me...

Question to the Universe...

Here is a question for anyone to answer because I certainly don't know.  I am very tolerant with a lot of the behaviors of FASD but it doesn't mean I don't get extremely FRUSTRATED!  So here is the question...Why is it that a child/teen feels that any mom's property, things are hers?  I have to put almost everything of mine into my room, behind locked doors.  This morning I found my camera missing and yes, just as I thought, it was in her room.  Of course she can't give any reasoning why she does it but none the less, it's frustrating.  So, if anyone out there is going through this and has some suggestions, reasoning, please help me to understand.