Thursday, October 7, 2010

If Life Was a Little Simplier...

I had Danielle clean out her own room and she did a wonderful job, there are no big piles of...stuff!  I've noticed over the last few days since her room was cleaned out that she is more mellow, easier to get along with, occupies her time working on her poems/ for her has slowed down and it has slowed down for me too.  Just the past couple of nights I've come home in a better mood.  I guess I need to put some of the problems Dani was going through on me because I would come home so exhausted that I would plop down on the couch with the remote control and I would put myself into a self-induced coma.  It was pretty bad...but's very pleasant.  But I do believe this is the "honeymoon" period of her confinement.  She'll start to rebel here pretty soon, I'm just waiting for it.

I have also come to the conclusion to have her do some community service, as I described in my previous post, I think I did.  I've had several good suggestions from friends and the one that really sticks out is volunteering at our food bank or doing something with the United Way.  My husband has even said that if he is home when we do the volunteering he would join us.  So this could become a family thing, sometimes it's very good to step out of our own self's, out of our problems and help others.

This picture is of me, Danielle and my husband Mike on one of our ATV rides a couple of weekend's ago.  Just when the leaves were starting to change.  We have some of the most beautiful trails here in Utah and the colors and spectacular.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

I'm Back with New Developments!

Wow!  What a short vacation that was, no sooner do I decide to take care of myself, all "hell" breaks loose in my home.  Not only do I confront my husband about me loosing my mind and needing more of is support, etc, etc, etc...we find out that Danielle has been having a gay old time of stealing!  So much she has even stolen money from her little niece.  So, in all of this my sweet husband did step up to the plate on Sunday and called Dani's doctor and left a nice long message, basically saying "this child needs help!".  He did receive a call back on Monday saying to call the police and get her to Archway.  Archway is more or less of a halfway house for troubled teens.  I didn't really feel comfortable with that so I called the doctor's office back and made an appointment with Danielle's therapist for that evening.

That appointment was a real waste.  I haven't been that angry or frustrated like that in a long time.  All she wanted to do was make another contract with Danielle that she won't steal or lie and I flat out told her that it won't work, not even special little stickers or rewards, it won't help!  We've been down this path before and all the campaign promises made and nothing changes.  We need help now before she winds up in the juvenile system and out of our hands.  Her therapist didn't feel comfortable sending her to Archway because those are kids who don't want to go home and they know the system to stay where they are, no...not good for Dani. She is not suicidal so can't take her back to the BHI or even to the State Hospital.  So...the only option!!!! Drum roll please............make home her lock down just like at the State Hospital.  She has lost all privileges including her cell phone, well I've taken her friends phone numbers off and she can only talk to mom, dad or sisters.  She has lost everything in her bedroom, she only has a bed, dresser and 7 days of clothing.  Just like at the hospital.  And it's not me  cleaning out her room, it's her.  She knows she has to earn everything back and it's going to take sometime.  Mike and I are also thinking about her doing some community service, at least one day so she can step out of herself for a little bit and realize or hopefully realize life isn't all about her.

Not only is this going to be hard on her, but boy it's going to be hard on me.  With me working full time and she gets home about 1 1/2 hrs before me...but we got that figured out.  Next week I can upgrade her phone to one that has a GPS so I can track her whereabouts, but in the meantime, if I call or if dad calls, she has to go out in the carport and ring our chimes.  That way we know she is at home and not lying to us.  That's another problem and another story for another day!

If anyone has any ideas of a community service project for a FASD teen, please let me know!