Thursday, November 3, 2011

There is Life at the End of the Rainbow...

I can't remember the last time I wrote a post, seems like forever...but there were several times that I did sit down, in front of my computer, my hands ready to start typing...when...instant fatigue would hit...BAM!  I am going to try to catch up as much as possible. First, to recap, Dani has been living at a proctor-foster home for the past 5 months. She is not in State's custody, we are still her parents.  It was mainly so that we as parents could have a break, get more education under our belts because of her new diagnosis (FASD) and prepare for her to come home.  As a matter of fact, she is coming home November 23rd, the day before Thanksgiving!!!
Mom and Danielle, we had breakfast with our family and all us girls went down to Gardner Village in Salt Lake for the "Witch's Festival".

The time away has been more beneficial for me because I got to know myself, I mean truly know myself.  I never realized how much baggage from my childhood I was carrying around on my shoulders.  Things that had helped mold me into the "helicopter" parent I was.  So...with that I let go of a lot...and...started to discover how to be a better "helicopter" parent.  I know that doesn't make counselor told me to stop being a "helicopter" parent, to let my daughter do her thing, then the genetic counselor from UofU told me to "be the best helicopter parent there is because with Dani, I have to be involved all the time"!  But there's limits, both my husband and myself went through a TRANSFORMATION!  And we are super excited to have her come home.

Here are some good points to having my daughter in Foster Care: 1) It put Dani in a safe place, in fact all of us in a safe place to where we were not wanting to kill each other.  2) Dani got involved with a wonderful counselor at her school that has helped her with regulating her emotions.  Her meds were changed and she started to have a short fuse, she actually hit someone, so her counselor is helping her with these short-fuses, prepping her for the real world. 3) I didn't live a 24/7 stressed out life, took time for me, took time to be in a relationship with my husband. 4) I LOST MY JOB!

Here are some NOT good points:  1) I lost my job, yes I have it listed in the good points because I was so stressed out, my BP one day was 160/120.  Ok, that was a warning.  In loosing my job it was a blessing, but also stressful because of the loss of medical benefits and of course $$$.  2) I didn't have any confidence in the foster parents at all!  Don't get me wrong, I love them and appreciate all they are doing for Danielle, but I constantly worried about her meds, there were many times she didn't get them, they didn't follow the rules set by their was just stressful.

After all that, we are looking forward to the transition of Dani coming home.  Things will be different, she knows that and the transition will be slow...real slow.  Things at home have to be real structured, not sure how I am going to do that just yet, but will let you all know, but IF ANYONE HAS ANY IDEAS, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!  I may be old, but not old enough to where I can't learn new tricks!

Here is a declaration:  Because of the loss of my job, I have stepped way back to rethink the rest of my life.  I have been in the medical field for almost 20 years, I have 16 years of experience of my daughter Danielle and I don't and won't get back into a job to where I feel terrible because I have to leave 15 minutes early to pick up my daughter or get her to an appointment.  So, I am looking to be a FAS, Family Resource Facilitator.  I want to give back what has been freely given to me, along with that my husband and I are going to be Foster Parents.  I am going to be starting a new blog about the journey of getting licensed, etc. so stay tuned!

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