Thursday, January 21, 2010

Scarey Thoughts!

I know the past few blog entries have been about how great things are, how she is progressing, etc.  But here are some realities I need to face...she is 15 years old right now.  I have three years before she becomes 18, where her medical care, legally, is out of my hands.  Then there is the question about a job, will she be able to sustain her own life, what about SSI (which right now I was told she doesn't qualify because of what my husband and I make).  I know there are other programs out there that I need to apply for now, start the ball rolling because these next three years are going to go by fast.  Then there is the question about driving.  Her doctor says now because of her poor judgement/reactions/etc, she is okay with this.  In fact she says she is glad she isn't going to drive, she won't have to worry about a huge car payment or an insurance payment.  Then how about living alone?  My husband and I have thought long and hard about this one.  We want to have a home to where there is a mother-in-law apartment in the basement, that way she can feel independent but still be close to home.  I don't you see, there is so much to think about even after the child comes home from the hospital.  And the list of concerns, worries and questions continue to grow.  So, if anyone has any ideas or suggestions, I am all ears!


GB's Mom said...

They are all scary thought! I have 2 adopted FASD, Bipolar children, a boy ,27,and a girl, 24. We tried the non SSI route with my son, and although he has kept the same job for three years, he costs us an average of $1000 a month. After his last child, a boy, I told him no more money until he got a vasectomy. He didn't like it at the time, but now he thanks me. My 24 year old daughter lives at home and works, but can't support herself. She is pregnant and we are thinking of going the SSI route with her. Her OB says she is not capable of raising a child by herself, and in my heart, I know he is right. Reproductive issues are scary as they hit adulthood, partly because society gives them so many right they are unable to handle. We are in the process of trying to adopt my son's oldest,GB, who is almost 7. She is also FASD and Bipolar. We have had custody of her since she was 4 months. I will put you and your daughter on my prayer list.

Linda B said...

These are such hard questions. I have been mulling these over for about 3 years now. I have no great answers yet. My daughter is 5 mos from 18. That magic age when she thinks life will be a piece of cake and she can be on her own. I know she cannot make it on her own, but she doesn't see it. Do you know that if a minor got pregnant we would be responsible for the baby? Plus we couldn't make her be on birth control. I found that out when she wanted to get pregnant as a 16 yr old. (MN) Where are the parents rights?