Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Do Mom's Really Get a Vacation?

Well, I took a small vacation as I explained before, went to California to visit my daughter and her fiance.  Thought I could get away from it all with the worries of what Dani is doing or getting into.  But here is the scenario.  I am sitting in the airport bright and early Friday morning, Dani had a friend spend the night so she wouldn't be alone (this friend also has some mental disabilities) but this friend decided to go home instead of going to school.  The next thing I realize is I am getting a phone call from her dad, saying that his daughter was complaining of hearing voices and my daughter took it upon herself to offer her one of her Serroquel.  Not a whole one but half a one.  He was more upset that his daughter took it and I immediatley called my daughter to explain things, calmly (ok, I tried to stay calm).  So with that episode over and gone, made some ground rules, no friends when mom is not home.  Visits with friends will be supervised by me or dad.  So all that was before I got on the plane.  Then on Saturday, there was the confusion about where she was suppose to be, either at home or at my oldest daughters house.  Some miscommuication took place but that was resolved after feelings were hurt and lots of crying took me none the less.  Worked through some deep feelings with my daughter (who I was visiting) felt very good to get my pent up emotions off my chest.  Then the next day (Sunday) I get a call from my oldest daughter saying that Dani took a box of Mac and Cheese home to cook, without asking.  Now normally that would not have been a big deal but my daughter keeps a tight budget and has meals planned out, no room for missing food.  Trust was ruined and I had to tell Dani to go home and dig deep in her room for any missing change to pay her sister for that box or else.  Not much relaxation for me because of the phone calls back and forth.  Could not get away from the responsibilities, the worries, etc. it goes where ever I go, I couldn't leave it behind.

So...what can I do different next time I decided to run away?  I have no idea, maybe be more prepared, have her stay with someone different than family?  I don't have that answer yet.  But I know there will be a lot of times I will want to run away and think of me, take care of me, me, me, but until that next time, I will continue to search for answers and better ways. 

There is no VACATION from FASD, there is no VACATION from mental illness, we live with it day to day and those children who suffer with it...they never get a break.  But I believe it is up to us, as parents to help them do their best and know we still believe in them.

By the way, the first picture was taken at Shell Beach, California and the second picture is me and my daughter Ashley.  I did have a great time visiting with it again in a heartbeat!

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