Monday, October 5, 2009

A Tired/Worn Out Mom's Disclaimer!

I just want to put this out there on the table. Although my blog posts sound like I have it all together and I am handling things pretty good...I really am not.  One thing our mom's of FASD kids or kids with disabilities do is mask our true selfs.  We mask and cover up our frustrations, hurts, tears, nights of no sleep because we worry if our child is wondering around let alone leaving the house, all the times we sit down in front of the TV with a container of ice cream, hopefully to make ourselfs feel better about doesn't work.  This is how I am.  There are so many hats that I wear in my family, and each of us are different, with the ability to wear different hats and how many but I know what my limitations are.  I run around feeling like I have a grip on things, I am happy, Dani is happy and doing good, then a stick of dynamite is set off and the cycle of madness begins.  Then my limitations are disrupted and I have to refigure things again.  I learned from a class I took a few year ago that it is okay to dislike your child, along with their disability.  There are those times I feel exactly that.  I come home form work, put myself in auto-pilot, go through the motions, go to bed and begin again.  Tonight is a good example, come home, do dishes, make sure dinner is ready, have my ice cream, blog and veg out. 

This is my disxlaimer, I am not perfect, I will never be, I will never have a decent nights sleep, I will constantly ache (Fibromyalgia), my hair will never have that rich luster, there will be times I feel like running away and not taking my phone with me, the rest of my disclaimer is that I am normal as a parent of a child with this NASTY disability!  (If this didn't make any sense, welcome to my world as of today)!

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