Sunday, September 5, 2010

Where are Those Teaching Moments?

Has anyone ever wondered how to be a teacher at those moments that are extremely embarrassing?  For instance, common knowledge is if you nose is running, get a tissue and wipe it.  On our side, we wipe it with our fingers and then wipe our fingers on our clothes.  Or when we eat, we eat so fast and without manners and slop food all over ourselves.  Or the common knowledge that we pick up after ourselves if we drop something or pick up after ourselves when we are done using the bathroom.  I guess I am getting frustrated and loosing my patience over this.  Along with my husband never being home, he is gone now 3 weeks at a time because he is a long-haul trucker.  I can only be strong for so long and then I loose it.  I plain out loose it to where even my personality at work changes.  I am normally a very upbeat, positive thinking woman but lately...I'm not.  I have become very negative, angry, frustrated, anyone out there listening to me?  Can anyone relate?  Even my blog posts I try to be positive and report only those things that are good with maybe a tinge of something bad that is going on.  But dang it~I am tired, I am tired of being the strong one all...the...time!  I have retreated into myself, not going anywhere, not getting involved with others.  All I want to do is sleep, read and snack.  I've talked to my doctor and yes I am depressed but who wouldn't be in these circumstances.  But not only that, I have no hormones in my body, a thyroid that doesn't work and a blown pituitary gland.  So yes, I am a mess.

The cure, major hormone creams, thyroid meds, etc. trying to take back my life so I can handle things a little better.  At this point in my life, I would gladly give everything I have, including our camper and ATV to have my husband home.  I didn't get married to be by myself all the rest of my life.  So I really don't know what to do from here.  I am looking for answers, I am praying for guidance and I know I won't be answered in my time but I will be answered in the Lord's time.  So there, I've said a mouthful now I need to find solutions, if anyone has an idea, please share it with me.


GB's Mom said...

No ideas, but lots of {{{Hugs}}}. You are not alone in being tired today.

Mom of 5 said...

Hi, I have been reading quietly, but you struck a chord with me, so I thought I would chime in.

My husband works 4 days in a row, and works at night, so he has to sleep when he is at home. And he happens to do this during the days when all 5 of my kids are home with me. 1 of those being a baby, and the other being a 2 yr old with FAS...who is out of his daily schedule being at home, and is sweet as can be, but keeps me hopping all day long. It is crazy that I feel alone when I have 5 other people in the house with me. But it is hard for me not having him those days in a row. Not even for the help, just the companionship, to not feel like I am doing this alone.

Not having your mate with you is hard. Having a teenager is hard, having a child with FASD is hard, and all those hormone issues you mentioned, well that is probably really what is sending you over the edge...bless your heart!

I think feeling that way really just means you are a woman, and you are a momma :) I hope things will get better for you soon.

Anonymous said...

I admire your honesty. Some bloggers who have children with disabilities are too upbeat and sunny to be believed. You know they type; they write that their child is absolutely perfect just the way he/she is and they wouldn't take a million dollars to change a single thing about him/her. Meanwhile, the kid is up all night, screaming and destroying the house, wiping feces on the wall and attacking his/her siblings and the family pets. But you'd never know if from reading the mom's blog.
I'm not saying you should spill your guts and tell every little annoying or disgusting thing that your daughter does but I think it helps other parents of children with cognitive, neurological and emotional disabilities to know that they;re not alone in feeling like they're fed up.
I don't know anything about raising a child like your daughter because my three are fortunately (I don't know the correct term -- neurotypical? Whatever the word is for what used to be called "normal") but I certainly relate to the frustration you feel about having a husband who's not home very much.
My hubby is an attorney and he works very VERY long hours. When I first met him, he was a sportswriter for a major magazine and he worked even longer hours, plus he was on the road for weeks at a time with the teams he covered, going to japan and Italy and who knows where else.
Your husband would undoubtedly say that he HAS to be away a lot because that's what his job entails and he couldn't make the kind of money that he does if he were to change careers.
That's true, but it doesn't help you NOW, when you feel like you're on your last nerve.
The best I can tell you is to hang in there and try not to sweat the small stuff; you're a wonderful mom and the sky won't fall in if your house doesn't look perfect all the time or if your daughter eats with her fingers.
Eventually, things will change; they always do.
Is there any way you could get your husband to agree to take up more of the childcare when he's home to give you time to relax a little bit? Even if you knew you had 24 hours in which you were "off-duty_ as we used to call it whedn our kids were little, you'd feel better.