Monday, February 8, 2010

To Catch a Thief!

I couldn't think of a better title for this blog.  Here is the story...this morning I got up and got ready for work like I usually do every morning.  I got my wallet out of my purse and noticed it felt pretty light.  Just over the weekend I know I had a lot of change and my wallet was pretty heavy.  I knew right then that Dani had been in my wallet.  I went into her room, closed her door because her dad was in the livingroom and he would have exploded if he knew why I was in there.  I woke her up and then I noticed she had one of my rings on her left hand.  A very good ring of mine no less.  I lost it...I saw red, I didn't lose it as if I was flinging things around or hitting, but I lost it emotionally, I went numb.  She had taken close to $30 from me.  Sometime yesterday (Sunday) she got into our bedroom, got into my purse and jewelery and also got into her make-up that I had taken away from her awhile ago.  Then when we confronted her on what she did, she got defensive in our faces, yelling at us while my husband is telling her to calm down.  Dani was so beligerant that I told her I had to go to work and that she wasn't going to her choir concert tomorrow night.  She yelled at me saying "your not going to work, your just going to have to call in and I am going to that concert".  It was like a demon had possessed her.  I spent my whole day at work in a daze.  I couldn't believe it and I sat at my desk with a constant prayer to my Father in Heaven about what to do!  How do I discipline a 15 year girl with FASD?  What road do I take that she will understand what she did was totally unacceptable?  She is humble and repentant for just a short time then those behaviors happen all over again.  I am still at a loss...does anyone have any suggestions?

2 comments:

GB's Mom said...

I wish I had a magic bullet to give you,but I don't. My 24 year old daughter is FASD and Bipolar. The stealing stated to get better when she was 18 and it hasn't been a problem at all for the last 3+ years. Unfortunately, it wasn't anyone thing that worked- we just kept plugging and it went away as she matured. It might be helpful to remember Dani emotionally is probably around 10 or 11, because of the FASD. These kids just take so much longer to "get it". I remember that numb feeling well...

FAScinated said...

Life with FASD stinks sometimes and there are no easy answers. Prevent what you can by locking up items of value and giving supervision beyond what her chronological age typically calls for. And forgive yourself when you lose it. It hurts to be on the receiving end of these behaviors.

Hang in there. It takes longer and many more lessons than with the neuro-typical child, but kids with FASD can learn and behaviors can diminish with maturity. There's hope. ~Kari