Let It be Written...Let It Be Done!

Today was the day of all days.  Today Dani and I met with the team that was going to coordinate, with me, the move to the foster/group home for her treatment.  I was scared half to death because of the unknown but I stayed strong for Dani because she had her own fears, I didn't want to add on top of hers.

There was the co-founder of the proctor program that Dani is getting her treatment with, the head of post-adoptions here in Utah, two case workers, Dani's new foster mom and the two of us.  For the first little while there was a dialogue between Dani and the Co-founder of  "Foundation".  He asked her if she knew what was going on, how she felt about it, what she felt were her worse behavior problems, etc.  This went on for awhile and then it was question and answer time, were we discovered what the rules will be, her new doctor and therapist, what everyone is doing to help her during this time.  She will be evaluated every three months to see where she is, depending on where she is in her progress will govern when she can have visits with us.  For the first two weeks there is no contact with us, she needs to form a relationship with her new foster mom and they will keep her pretty busy.  There will be therapy that starts with her, then her foster mom will be added and then Dani's dad and myself.  The goal is to have her  come home and be able to live together instead of feeding off of each other's bad moods.  It's a very bad cycle in our home.

I had packets ready for the team which included a letter from her psychiatrist and therapist, then a mental health assessment from her therapist, her last neuro-evaluation from the State Hospital and her discharge summary, anything that would give her diagnosis.  Then I had to write a letter on how much my family could contribute to her treatment.  That was the hardest letter I have ever had to write.  At this time we couldn't afford to help out at all, but the miracle was this...Dani has Medicaid for her special needs, after Medicaid pays their portion, $1500.00 is owed per month.  We receive an adoption subsidy that was raised to $865.00, then there are two funds that sit there waiting to be used for kids who need treatment.  It's either use it or they loose it.  So that brought us down to owing nothing.  But the best part is that the co-founder said, if that doesn't work, they will accept what they get, don't worry about anything.  You have no idea how much weight that took off my shoulders.

Everything about the meeting was extremely positive.  For every negative about Dani, they turned it into a positive.  For example: Dani has a tendency to take scissors to her clothes, trying to create her own designs, at that time I was told that the foster mom is a seamstress and she can help her with those creations.  There are other factors and information but at this time, my mind is extremely tired.  I will probably remember more tomorrow.

After the meeting, on our way back to the facility she is staying at, she got extremely mad.  Mad that she has so many problems because she has been to the BHI, State Hospital, hospitals for evaluations, etc.  I told her not to be mad at her because this is not her fault, if she wants to be mad at someone, be mad at her birth mom, not mad at herself.  Told her this is something she can talk to her therapist about and I hope and pray she will come to terms with this.

Her psychiatrist here had started her on a new medication, Latuda.  Dani visited Dr C this afternoon and Dani said she doesn't feel as fuzzy headed as she has, her thinking is clearer.  Dr C said that her eyes were clearer and she made more sense.  This is a good start, this is good.  It's going to be a long road but worth it.  A lot of work but it will be a journey or self-discovery for all of us! 

Sorry I am jumping around but I just remembered something, Dani was excused from the room and I asked them if  while they were talking with her if they could detect any of her diagnosis.  There was a resounding "YES".  Then immediately they all started talking about things that they were going to do for her.  Another neuro-psych evaluation, I am to contact Dr Llewellen up at University of Utah, she is the top of her specialty, genetic testing for FASD.  It will take a few months to get in with her but they said to do it.  They also said that she may be 16 but she functions at about 8-9yrs of age so how to deal with her as far as chores and instruction will be handled differently.  I was thrilled they were brain storming about my daughters future.  They are also preparing her to get involved with this program, I forgot what it was but I think the acronym is DPSD.  If I've got that wrong, sorry, but this program will help her get a job, not matter how many hours it is, housing, help her get the quality of life she so deserves.  I couldn't ask for more...this gave me so much hope, I left that meeting feeling better than I have in a long time.