Sunday, March 28, 2010

Frustrated Mom!

Here's a question...how do we know, as parents, what is really the actions of the disability or is it really being a teenager?  I have been faced lately with blatant lying.  There are times I don't know how to handle it and there are days I rationalize that this is the FASD that is speaking loud and clear.  Today we had a melt down, she had lied to me twice, things that are important to me and then we got into a huge argument that ended in her tears and crying that she hates herself, she hates the color of her skin, she has a big nose, that she hates coming from two different colored parents and wishes her life was different.  I got out my photo album out and we looked at the pictures of her growing up, from the time she became my daughter, she looked at the pictures of her and her sisters and she realized that her skin is just like her sisters.  And so our conversation came to a conclusion that she has gotten too involved in trying to be too much like her girlfriends at school, with all the make up and stuff, she gave me her make up and we are going back to basics and she is going to look for that girl that came out of the State Hospital a couple of years ago...we will see how it goes.

5 comments:

Miz Kizzle said...

The dissatisfaction with her appearance sounds like good old teenage girl angst. Your DD is very pretty and her skin color is lovely.
It does seem that her glasses are the wrong shape for her face and they make her nose look broader. In the group photo where she's not wearing glasses her nose looks less wide. I don't know if she is capable of wearing contact lenses, but if she is, it might help her self-image. Barring that, another style of glasses would look better on her.
She'd also look better if she didn't show her gums when she smiles. That might have been a one-time thing in that particular picture but it's really not a good look.
Other than that, with exercise and healthier eating to promote weight loss, she'd be quite stunning.
That's just a stranger's opinion. My DD tells me that I'm her mom so my compliments on her appearance don't count. She happens to be a straight A student with a showgirl figure who turns heads everywhere she goes but in her mind she's an ugly lump. That's how teen girls are.

Anonymous said...

I think she's quite stunning as she is. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. While her mother is trying to get her to feel better about herself your so called "help" is telling her to change the way she smiles and change her eye ware. I feel sorry for your daughter. I beleive that this blog is for parents who want to help their children with disabilities cope and deal with the symptoms of their children' disorders not telling other parents that their daughters have physical feature issues that could be dealt with. Some medications for children with FASD cause the children to gain weight, which no matter what they eat or how much they work out their body works against them and they gain a little weight. It's parents like you that cause their children to become anorexic and have body image problems. Every mother thinks their children are beautiful so there is no way to confirm that your daughter is a straight A student with a showgirl figure. If she's a teenager with that kind of figure then that tells me that children these days are growing up way too fast, and parents like you are supporting that. I feel bad for your daughter. I applaud the mother who started this blog and who's main worry is helping her daughter cope with the day to day hell that is in her mind and that plagues her every minute of every day. Next time, keep your worldly advice to yourself. It doesn't help anyone except maybe yourself to make you feel better about yourself and your daughter to put other peoples daughters down. Maybe there should be a blog that helps mothers like who care only about the physical looks of her daughter.

Rose Adoption Journey said...

We had a meltdown yesterday. I can relate about the teen VS disabiitlies things. Our oldest has Bi Polar and has mood swings left and right but sometimes...it just seems like it is good ole teenage angst!!

Rose Adoption Journey said...

Miz Kizzle,
WOW....are you kidding me?? I hope you know this person. What boldness you have to critique this young lady! WOW! Stay off my blog please!

Maury said...

I think your daughter is beautiful! My son, with FAS is biracial, and I think he has the most beautiful skin color ever. I just stare at him, thinking how beautiful of a person he is. I am sure that is all a teenager thing. I hated myself, and ran myself down like crazy when I was a teenager. I think it is good that she says these things out loud to you so you can talk about them...I always just kept my frustrations bottled up inside. I don't think my mom had any idea I was going through that.