Mother's Day

I want to start by saying I had a fantastic Mother's Day. All my daughters really spoiled me. One of the highlights though was going down to Provo to visit Danielle. Brenna, Jason, KD and Kyla and myself got into my little PT Cruise and drove down for a visit. What a good time we had, we got caught up on all her events, school projects, testing, priviledges, etc. then we took time and played some good old fashioned games like "Red Rover", Red Light, Green Light", there was a mini trampoline that the kids jumped on. It was a lot of fun to watch Danielle play with KD, they are such good buddies and just adore each other, to see them play brings tears to my eyes. Danielle is doing good, she has her good days and then her bad days. That Sunday was a good day, she had her sparkle back in her eyes. But in talking with her last night she was extremly tearful and feeling down. I was told this is normal. We are hoping that she will be able to come home by September. We were originally told maybe by Christmas but she is doing so good that it may be earlier. I have attached a couple of pictures of Mother's Day. Enjoy!

First week down!

The first week is down. Mike and I went down to visit her on Saturday, took one of our favorite games to play and spent a good couple of hours with her before she was to take off for an activity. Last week she seemed to be depressed and sad, I was told it was just the beginning of her getting use to being there. Talked to her on the phone everyday. Yesterday she was so excited because she had graduated to a higher level to where she can go swimming and go off campus with supervision. She was excited about that. She says there is so much drama going on down there, considering she is living with 15 other girls, ages range from 12-17. I guess there could be a lot of drama. She seems to be handling it pretty well accept during our visit she seemed to be taking on some of the other girls characteristics, sassiness mainly. Mike and I have our first staff meeting this Friday with all the doctors and the teachers to find out what their game plan is for her.

The journey begins!

I think yesterday was probably the hardest day. Mike and I picked up Danielle at 6am to take her to the State Hospital in Provo. Danielle slept most of the way down there, pulled her blankets over her head, her way of getting away from the situation. We first met with the principle of the school on the campus and he had told us that there will be extensive testing for her for her placement in school. Then we met with the pscyhologist, social worker, psychiatrist, and medical doctor. We didn't leave until around 12:30pm. But we got the impression that this is a no nonsense team. We were pretty impressed with what they were thinking and feeling. We could tell immediately that her psychiatrist was already formulating a plan for Danielle. We will know more next week at our first team meeting. The plan so far is to keep her on her meds that she is on right now, get her into school, watch and observe her an then see about making some changes. And she may be there for as long as 7 months we were told. I have to admit, as a mother, that will be hard for me. I felt lonely last night, I got use to seeing her once a day for an hour but now I have to limit my visits to the weekend. I don't know how often she can call or how often I can call, but this will be a growing experience for both of us. It was hard leaving her, she cried, I cried, dad was the strong one for both of us. I talked to her later in the afternoon and she started crying again saying she was scared, I really can't blame her there. I am scared also but I know this is the right thing to do.

New Do!

Well, here she is with her new braids...and she is so happy. I really enjoyed watching her little self-esteem go way up. She was so excited and she knows how easy it will be to take care of it. She seems to be doing the same, extremely tired in the morning but really hyperactive by the evening. We are just counting down the days until we go down to Provo. There are those days that I just dread being that far away and not in control but this will be good for both of us. I guess you could say I am kind of a control freak, so this is really good for me to release and to let go. It's time to let Heavenly Father do His wonders.

Update!

First off, for those of you who are reading this blog, sometimes my usage of the english language isn't the greatest so I apologize ahead of time. I will try to slow down my thoughts and make sure it sounds good. :)

We had a good weekend overall. It was my granddaughter's (Kaitlyn) 4th birthday so we went to the zoo down in Salt Lake. Had a great time but it just wasn't the same without Danielle. I felt someone was missing from our party and it did feel a little odd. We got back into town just in time to have about a 10 minute visit with her.

Sunday I got a call from Danielle, crying, that she was in pain and wanted a blessing. I had arranged for my son in law and my brother in law to meet me there for that blessing. The nurse pulled me over and told me that they were going to draw some blood and check her white blood count, could possibly be an appendititis. Within minutes of us being there, Danielle started to look good and feel better. Blood tests turned out good, nothing showed up. But the doctor decided that they should restrict her junk intact and cut back on her fats. Hopefully this will give her some relieve. Tomorrow she is getting her hair done in corn-rows, she is so excited about that and so am I. I want her feeling good about herself. I will write more tomorrow and include a picture of the new Danielle. Love to all.

Doctor's New Treatment

While Danielle is waiting to be moved down to Provo the doctor has decided to cut back on her medications. Just so she can go down there no so medicated and they can see the real her, so to speak. Last night I got a call from one of the nurses saying he was taking her off her Lithium all together. That is one of her main mood stabilizers and it has helped her in the long run. One of the concerns I had as a mother when told they were going to cut back on her meds was the risk of her becoming suicidal again. But they (counselor, nurses) reassured me that she was in the safest place if that was to happen. Had a really good visit with her last night. I decided that I should bring in things that she and I can do together. So...I took in my computer, made a separate folder in the pictures area, named it "Danielle's Pictures". I had her go through all the photos and decide which ones she wanted so that we could create a scrapbook for her to take with her. One of the fears she has is that we as her family will forget about her. This is one of the ways of reassuring her that we won't. Brenna, KD and Kyla came by for a visit and it is always so fun to see Danielle interact with KD. They get along so well together like two peas in a pod. Always laughing. I hope that will never change for them. But it always brightens up Danielle's day when she gets family visitors. Brenna made a phone call for me in finding someone who is willing to come to where Danielle is and braid her hair. So when I told Danielle that a guy named Kenny is coming next Tuesday to braid her hair, she screamed really loud. It was kind of embarrassing but it was great to see the joy on her face. I'll take a picture when she is done and put it on this blog. Well, love to you all!

A New Day

For all the hard things that goes on a persons life, there are so many blessings to look at. I am going to count my blessings one by one.

1. I have three beautiful daughters (besides Danielle), which I am extremly proud of.

2. I have a wonderful, loving, understanding husband who supports me.

3. Two equally wonderful sons-in-laws, which I am blessed to have married my daughters.

4. I have wonderful friends and extended family.

5. I have a dog who unconditionally loves me. :)

6. I have my faith in my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I know They love me!

7. I have air in my lungs and good health, yes I can say that even thought I battle Fibromyalgia.

8. I work for a wonderful couple who understands (I hope) what is going on with Danielle.

9. I have beautiful sunrises and sunsets here in Utah. The mountains are my sanctuary.

10. And most important...my granddaughters, who keep me smiling all the time.

These are just a few, I have so many more but I will save those for future times. I am equally lucky right now. I have two of my daughters coming to visit within the next couple of weeks. One daughter Raelyn lives in Pennsylvania and the other daughter Ashley lives in California. Haven't seen them for awhile and I am looking forward to that visit. But I am also blessed to have one daughter still living close to where we do. I am really blessed to have these three special daughters who have given me such joy in my life.

Most important though is my husband Mike. Words can not express how I feel about him. Yes, we are just like any other marriage, we have our ups and downs but mostly we have our ups. He is extremly supportive in whatever I do, he tries to be there for me but it is sometimes hard since he is a truck driver, but he is always there on the phone when I need him. I am so thankful that I met him and he said yes when I proposed to him. My children were mad at me for doing that but he had always told me that if I wanted to get married...I was going to have to propose.